Over the edge and back again
by Amanda Strange
Summary: After Cloud finally meets Sephiroth and admits how he feels about him Sephiroth rejects him and Cloud already in ruin from a horrible home life tries to end it all. And almost succeeds. Attempted character death HIATUS
1. Rejected

A/N ~ So right now I have writers block for my other story Project D (no one will leave me a fricking review, haters) but I have all of these other Ideas running through my head for other stuff so until i get my army of vampire plot bunnies in order I guess I am going to write a whole lote of one shots. WHOO! Anywho, if you are a following reader (you read all the stories that I ,inparticularly, write) then you know the drill, I come up with it as a go along and if there is something that you don't like or confused you tell me and also I am still giving out the offer for ideas for Project D and stories that are not in existance yet, i also do custom and requested stories, If you like a certain story but want to see a few things differant in it i will write you an alternate chapter and if you have a request story don't be afraid to ask, same goes to new readers, email me your requests at . I have an open door policy.

ok so on with the story!  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Another normal, boring day. Great. That was Clouds usual thought every morning as he woke up and got ready for another long ass day of SOLDIER academy. He didn't look forward to it. He never did. But he had one thing he had to always look forward to, well hope for would be the correct term.

General Sephiroth. Cloud, recently just turned 16, hoped that everyday he might catch a glimpse of the General but that day has not occurred, yet. As he headed to Materia Mechanics (A/N~I came up with that, Hah! take that!) he fantacized how his first meeting with Sephiroth would go down for lack of a better term. But he always came up with the same scenario, Sephiroth falls in love with him at first sight and fucks him up a wall in a hall way closet, then they get married.

Cloud mentally slapped himself everytime he didn't come up with something differant. Coming back to the real world as he entered his class he took his assigned seat at the very front of the class and got his notebook and pen out, today was a note taking day. He liked these kinds of days, Professor Daye didn't call on any one for answers to questions or anything, she just wrote down everything on the huge dry erase bored, that covered the whole front wall, and let the class copy down everything. Professor preferred to keep a stress free enviornment for the class to keep things going it worked thankfully.

As other students filed into the room and took their seats, Cloud waited impatiently for Professor Daye to enter the room but never did. She was usually early, like really early, but she wasn't here. The was unusual for her, Then the door was swung open and Clouds heart screeched to a stop as he saw who was now walking to the desk. Sephiroth, THE General Sephiroth had just walked into the same room as he was in.

"Professor Daye has been put in the hospital after a a car accident and will not be back for an undetermined time, We predict it will be for a year, so until she is completely recovered ,and hopefully not in a wheel chair the rest of her lif, I will be taking over her class' for the next year.  
Any questions?"

The General saw a hand raise way in the back, the only hand raised in the whole room of 100 students.

"Yes you."

"Bust a move" There was snickering through out the room and even Sephiroth was laughing a little.

"Thats not really a question but thank you, Anyone else?" No hands raised at all, Cloud thought for sure he would have something to ask him but his mind was completely blank, he desperately searched his mind for something, anything to ask just so the general would look his way and talk to him, or hear that deep and smooth voice directed at him and impulsively, Cloud raised his hand with a still blank mind. Sephiroth looked at him and Cloud knew he could die at that very moment. " Yes?" Cloud was lost he had nothing, not even something like 'Bust a move'. Then he just decided to pretend to have forgotten what he was going to say.

"I'm sorry, I forgot." He said as he looked down at his desk so he wouldn't screw up how he said it. But then he felt a warm hand between his shoulder blades and a water fall of silver hair to his right.

"Are you sure you forgot or did you just raise your hand impulsively?" That voice so close to Cloud ear, he could feel the hot breath on his cheek. Then he realized, Sephiroth was touching him. Oh sweet gaia, he was really touching him. "Well, which is it?" Cloud just shook his head no. " You didn't forget? " Cloud nodded. "You acted on impulse." Another nod and then Cloud got a chuckle. "Thats alright, don't worry." And then Sephiroth's hand had disappeared from his back and the General was at the front of the class again. "So Professor Daye gave me your notes for today and gave me a specific way to give them to you. So you copy down everything I write on the board as I write it. No questions will ba asked by me and you will not ask any questions. Now lets get started." Grabbing a black dry erase marker from the desk Sephiroth began writing out notes in perfect cursive hand writing and wrote pretty quickly.

Cloud decided to try and forget the fact the he was in the same room as his long time crush and get his work done as quickly as possible. He did pretty well and then looked up at the board to get the next paragraph in his head. But he was surprised to see Sephiroth crouched down and leaning on his desk checking over his notes. Cloud jumped and gasped at the same time. Sephiroth looked up at him and smiled. "Something wrong?"

"I-I don't...Didn't.....May I go to bathroom please?" He blurted out as fast as he could and Sephiroth gave him a nod. Cloud got up and went for the door but tripped over his own foot but never hit the ground, instead he came in contact with an arm wrapping around his mid-section, dangerously close to his personal area. Cloud looked at the arms owner, and was still waiting for his heart to get going again. But now it was permanately dead. Sephiroth was just smiling at him and set him back on his feet and went back to looking over his notes. Cloud hurried out of the room and practically sprinted to the bathroom. He locked his stall door and breathed heavily.

He cursed the god that gave him this damned teenage awkwardness. Then the bathroom door slammed closed and Cloud tried to compose himself and try to leave but when he unlocked his stall door and opened it he was met with none other than his temporary Proffesor, Sephiroth, standing right infront of him, arms crossed over his broad chest and just staring at Cloud like he was sizing him up. Then the General spoke.

"Ever since I walked into the class room, you have been staring at me like you were undressing me with your eyes and I must say that I am quite intruiged as to why. Care to explain, if you can do so without messing up."

The General waited and Cloud felt like he was in the Sheep and wolf story, and he was the sheep. (A/N~ The sheep and the wolf story is and old german nursery rhyme. I will explaine more after the story) "Well...I'm waiting." The general said, tapping his foot as he waited.

Cloud scrapped together as much of an explanation as he could and blurted out what he never expected he would blurt out. " I have liked ever you ever since the first time I saw you and I always wanted to meet you but was scared to. I also wrote you a love letter but was too scared to send it and now that I have finally met you I can't pull myself together enough to even say the right thing at the right time and I wish that I could just get over this stupid crush on you because I know that I will never be with you let alone anyone else bacause I refuse to even try to be with anyone else besides you and I am really sorry for my behaviour but I am struggling with myself not to just blurt out.....everything.....that I....just said.....Please don't hate me." Having said all of that in one breath Cloud took a much needed breath and stared at nothing inparticular on the floor while he waited for the Laughing or the punch in the gut that was much anticipating, but no matter how long he waited it never came, nothing came and Cloud cautiously looked up at the stoic man infront of him, He was.....

Smiling. Showing his teeth too, Wow, they were like...really white. But other than the gleaming smile Cloud could get nothing from Sephiroth's facial expression.

"Well this is quite new, and unexpected." Sephiroth finally said after what felt like an eternity, and Cloud was confused.

"Thats it?" Cloud asked desperately.

"Well what do you expect me to say? 'Oh Cloud lets run away together!'? I don't think so. This is the first time you have met me and you are already proclaiming your love to me, and I know that you said you have been in love with me ever since you first saw me but that isn't enough. Plus I can not and will not return your feelings because I have no intrest or time for a relationship with anyone, let alone a barely legal student. So I would advise you to erase any feelings you have for me now because nothing will ever happen between you and I and do not expect anything to happen. So stop being so naive and get the reality check that you so desperately need and get over it because I don't need some starstruck child chasing after me for nothing. Do you understand me or do I have to spell it out completely to you so that small inane thing inside your head you call a brain can understand?"

Pain. That was all Cloud felt after everything sunk in and took affect, then the tears fell like torrents and Cloud felt nothing but the urge to run back to his dorm room and die crying into his pillow. As everything Sephiroth had said played over and over in side his mind Cloud let go and pushed past the General and ran as fast as could to his dorm room. He didn't remember how but Cloud got there and through himself on his bed. He cried and screamed into his pillow for hours even after his room mate Daniel got back from class' and looking at Cloud with understanding.

The first time Daniel and Cloud met they had been inseprable. They told each other every little thing and never judged eachother and supported eachother through thick and thin never letting one be detered from there chosen path. But when something they both felt strongly about and attempted to act on it but failed miserably they each tried to help each other through the pain and try to get over it. And now Cloud needed him more than ever.

"Hey buddy." Daniel said as he layed down next Clouds sobbing and shaking figure and rubbed circles on his back doing his best to comfort him. "It will be ok. It doesn't matter what happens, you will find someone who deserves you. You'll see." Cloud cried even harder because he knew that this was something that Daniel would never be able to help him with, and something that he would never be able to even help himself with.

"Hey I know what you need. I'm going to go to the rental shop and rent a movie, then I will pick up a half-gallon of your favorite ice cream. It will be just us tonight ok. We won't leave the room." Daniel grabbed his wallet and left. Leaving Cloud to him self.

Cloud got out from under the covers and went to the bathroom, always thankful they had their own bathrooms. He just looked at himself in the mirror, think of how pathetic he was and how he didn't deserve to be alive. The tears just wouldn't stop falling. they kept coming out and cascading down his already tear stained cheeks. He looked down, not able to see himself anymore, but then saw something. Daniel's razor blade, he kept the extra blades next to it.

So Cloud took one and looked at it, studied it like it was a scientific specimen and looked at the sharp edge. Then he slowlybrought it to his forearm and pressed down then quickly slid it away. the crimson blood ran freely down his pale skin. The pain seemed to slightly lessen too.

Cloud made another clean cut and then another and another.  
bloodcovered his arm and the sink and cloud still felt alittle pain so he made another cut but his wrist was grabbed and the blade was pulled away from his arm and Cloud glared at the person who stopped him.

And all the pain came rushing back as his eyes met the widened emrald slited eyes framed by the whitest hair that could never be imitated.

"What in gods name have you done?! Why would you do this?!" Sephiroth yelled. He knew he hurt the small blonde but he didn't think that he would be this hurt, or even take it this far. Cloud just looked at him like he was death himself and in way, Cloud hoped he was.

"Answer me!" Sephiroth yelled as he pryed the blade from Clouds fingers and threw it away along with the rest on the counter. He grabbed the petite boys shoulder arms and yelled again." I said answer me." And Cloud did just that.

"Because I can do what ever I want to my body and no one will stop me because no one cares. Not my alchoholic mom, not my sexually and physically abusive father, not even you. The one person I had hoped would save me from all of the pain that had been inflicted upon me ever since I was a baby. But I can't even have the tiniest ounce of happyness because i don't deserve it. I don't deserve anything because everything is my fault, The only thing I deserve is to die. like my father has always said, I'm a worthless Fagg and I always will be. So don't pretend like you care because you don't."

As cloud said all of this he got dizzier and weaker with each word he said. And then everything went black and Cloud let him fall into the dark abyss that was his mind. He heard his name shouted by two different voices but he didn't care who they were. All he cared about was that he could finally die and rid the world of the burden the he was. But the darkness, It was so cold and unforgiving. He had always heard that death was bring an overwhelming sense of peace and warmth, and then Cloud realized why he didn't feel that way, He was going to hell.

TBC ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So I had planned for this to be a oneshot but I guess its going to be turning into a full story. But I would like to Dedicate this to everyone who has ever been through something like this and I want you to know that no matter what you are worth fighting for and you can make it through anything. Never give up because if you are always lokking down at the ground you will never see the sky. if You need someone to talk to or need advice I am here. And I have been through it. But time can heal some wounds but it can never mend a shattered heart. 


	2. Awake for the pain

A/N~ All poems that I use in my stories are rightfully mine and written by me and only me. But I do not own Final Fantasy. I also forgot to explain the sheep and the wolf in the last chapter. The sheep and the wolf is about a baby sheep that gets seperated from his mother and is lost in the woods. he doesn't know what to do and keeps calling for his mother. He attracts the attention of a lone wolf and the wolf tricks the baby sheep into thinking that he will take him back to his mother but instead lures him back to his den. The wolf prepares to eat the baby sheep and all the while the sheep is telling him about how his mother was all he had and he was all she had. His father abandoning them before he even knew him and his mother trying everything she could to keep them going on and on their feet. but never really thinking about herself and always worrying about him, and they were homeless. So thats why he was so desperate to find her. So she wouldn't lose herself with in her own mind. Then the wolf felt nothing but guilt for lying to the baby sheep because he too lost his father and did the same for his mother but still lost her no matter how much he did to keep her going. In a way the baby sheep was him. So the wolf fed the baby sheep yummy food, packed some extra food for the baby sheeps mother and took him to his mother. when they found her she was in tears and yelling for him. When mother and son were reunited the wolf offered them a home with him and gave mother the food which she greatfully accepted. Now the wolf is old and gray, the mother happy and old as well and the baby not a baby anymore, with his own family and child he thanked the wolf everyday for taking him back to his mother. Its a story that I tell my little brother every night that I made up. He loves it because its actually based on me and my mom.  
Enjoy~

Lonely and alone By Kathryn Amanda Reel So far away and yet so close.  
Distant in my mind but still so aware.  
Alone in my own abyss.  
So lonely and cold.  
Betrayed, lied to, fearful of everything.  
Gone from existance.  
Lost in the seraphs, unwanted and lonely.  
All alone by myself.  
I can not hear the sweet songs of life anymore.  
Only the silence of sorrow.  
Lonely and alone, forever and always.  
My unsalvaged soul black with death.  
Lonely and alone and I don't know why.  
The blasphemy of this feeling, so horrid and painful.  
Lonely and alone like me.  
I can hear their tears fall from their empty eyes.  
As they die more and more inside.  
But I can't hear my own.  
Lonely and alone till I part from this life abundant with so much suffocating hate.  
Crashing and burning from the sky.  
My wings dispersing in the air.  
Lonely and alone forever and always.

(Three days later)

(Beep, beep, beep.)

What was that sound...It has been there the whole time.

(Beep, beep, beep.)

It was so loud and annoying. Who is that talking? What are they saying? Where am I?

(Beep, beep, beep.)

The sound faded away as he became weak again and fell back asleep.

(The next day.)

His sky blue eyes slowly blinked open. A blinding white light hit him full force, and he squeezed his eyes shut and groaned at the pain it caused his eyes. Then there was movement beside him.

"Finally awake I see." Such a deep voice, smooth and sultry. It sounded familiar but whos voice was it?

"Where am I?" He asked in a cracking, raspy voice. He was so confused, wasn't he supposed to be dead?

"In the hospital. You lost a lot of blood after your little episode." Now he knew the voice, it was Sephiroth. Why was he there? Shouldn't he hate him or something?

"Why are you here?" He asked. Not really caring what he said.

"I wanted to know why you did it." Sephiroth said. Asking what should be painfully obvious to him.

"You know why." He said, voice full of acid and venom. And Sephiroth could feel the burn from both. He did know why but he didn't want to believe that he caused this.

"You barely know me, and yet you are so torn up over me rejecting you that you would try and kill your self, Why?"

"You are 25, birth day October 16th, Favorite color black, Mother deceased at child birth , you never knew your father, you were hojo's lab rat for most of your life and you call your self an abomination sometimes because of what you are and not feeling human, You try not to get close to anyone because you are scared they will be ripped away from you like everything else. You hate Brocoli, love cappucino ice cream but hate rocky road. you don't like the taste of water because it makes you gag, so you stick to flavored crap. Your favorite soda is vanilla coke and your favorite movie is Transformers. You have only two people you consider friends who are like you,Genesis and Angeal. And they are the closest thing you have to family. You are also scared to love. Now tell me I don't know you." Sephiroth was in shock.

"How did you know all of that about me. Barely anyone knows anything about me, Not even hojo or the president know hardly anything about me."

"At the exact moment you touched me, I knew everything about you. Nothing at all was hidden" Cloud stated with slightest smug undertone to his voice. Sephiroth was skeptical. There was no way that was true. it was impossible."I'm a psycic. but I can only use the ability when someone touches me or I touch them but I can choose who I learn from and what I learn."

Sephiroth studied Cloud intensly and could not find any signs of a lie. He wasn't lieing. Sephiroth just couldn't believe it. But he had only one option here.

"Do not tell anyone anything about me. If you do i will kill you" And with that Sephiroth got up and headed for the door."Oh and you are under suicide watch. So don't try anything stupid." He was gone. and Cloud tried to block out everything around him except those four words that Sephiroth said. I will Kill you. He wouldn't care. he would welcome it actually.

Later that day Daniel came and visited. He was so happy to see cloud finally awake. But still wanted to know why Cloud did it. But he Already knew why as that night played back in his head

(Flashback)

Daniel was on his way back to the dorm room carrying what he hoped would cheer Cloud up. His Favorite movie, Transformers and his favorite ice creame, Cappucino. As he went to unlock the door it was already half way open and he heard someone yelling inside, it wasn't Cloud's voice that was for sure. Daniel cautiously followed the voice's and was shocked at what he saw. Cloud, bleeding and going limp in General Sephiroth's arms. His heart had disappeared at that very moment. He yelled Cloud's name and dropped everything he carried and ran to the bathroom behind the General who picked Cloud up.

"Call an ambulance, NOW!" The General shouted at Daniel and he grabbed his cell and shoved it into his hands. As Danial gave the informaton to the 911 Operator Sephiroth grabbed a T-shirt from the hamper and pressed it to Cloud's bleeding arm, hands shaking the whole time. Then He felt Cloud stop breathing. "No, no,no, no" He yelled in desoeration. "Don't you dare die dammit!" And the General began CPR as Daniel started crying hysterically as he watched his best friend die.

The General worked frantically and got Cloud breathing again after breathing more air into him. Then the paramedics came in and took Cloud away on a stretcher. Sephiroth and Daniel Following.

(End Flashback)

Daniel was glad Cloud was ok. well as ok as he could be with how everything is now.

"So when am I being discharged? When are we going back to the dorm?"

This is what Daniel was dreading. But he knew it was coming.

"You see Cloud...Since you tried to.....you know...and you almost...you know.......well since your on suicide watch you were removed from the dorm because you are a threat to others and yourself. So you won't be living at the dorms anymore."

Cloud was more than upset, and shocked. "Who am I living with then?"

"I believe his name was Genesis. He should be here soon to get you. I saw him down stairs in the lobby signing your discharge papers. he is actually quite handsome. More than handsome, Probably more so than Sephiroth. But I would have to compare them side by side to really determine that."

Cloud waas looking at something Behind Daniel and Daniel a feeling he knew what." Hes behind me isn't he?"

"Not just him. Unfortunately" Cloud looked down at his lap as Daniel turned around and was met with not just Genesis but Sephiroth too. Who looked at Cloud with a little sorrow in his eyes but was barely seen there since it was covered by the obvious annoyance he felt for Daniel right now. Then cloud spoke again "Why are you back? shouldn't you have left already? Haven't you had enough fun ruining me?" Cloud snapped. All three men next to the bed Looked taken aback.  
Then Sephiroth left. Leaving before he could say something he would regret.

"Um well I guess I'll see you some time soon Cloud. I will miss you." Daniel said as he gave Cloud a hug and a peck on the mouth. Grabbing his backpack as he left. Leaving Cloud and Genesis in an awkward silence. Then a voice that shocked Cloud was heard.

Well If you are ready I am." The red head before him stated with a warm look in his eyes. Cloud looked confused.

"Um Ready for what?" He asked. Hoping he didn't sound stupid. Genesis just smiled a warm smile as a looked at Cloud thinking how adorable he was. not understanding how Sephiroth could reject him.

"To go home of course, Silly." His voice was warm. Sweet and comforting. Almost Father like, Well what Cloud imagined a father would sound like. Right before Cloud could answer a nurse came into unhook him from the heart monitor and iv. She gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder and left. Genesis setting a change of clothing on the night stand next to the bed. "Well lets get you changed."

Cloud immediately looked at Genesis like he was crazy. "Don't look at me like that. you are not supposed to be left alone for more than five minutes at a time, plus you are still too weak to walk let alone change your clothes now come on." He gestured for cloud to sit up and Cloud found no reason to fight since he wouldn't win. Genesis seemed very witty and not easily confused. And not to mention stubborn.

"I don't get that. I could have just as easily jabbed that iv needle into my wind pipe or strangled myself with the cords around me." Cloud explained as Genesis put the last article of clothing on cloud which happened to be the t-shirt. Genesis chuckled a little.

"Well first off you are under constant survailance at six different angles oh the room, High tech security cameras so the strangling thing wouldn't work, and the needle automatically desolves if it goes past your vane or pulled out so either way you wouldn't succeed, especially if your liveing with me I won't ever be letting you out of my sight. Ever"

"Oh come on, you gotta take a shit at some point." Cloud ever so crudly stated. Genesis looked at him in disgust.

"For your information when I POOP, you will be in hand cuffs chained to the door. I thought of everything. And please try to keep the bad language to a minimum while you live with me. I'm not used to it and I don't plan to be. now lets go." Cloud was caught off gaurd when Genesis swung him over his shoulder and carried him to the elevator.

"Wtf, man where the hell is the wheel chair?" Cloud shouted.

"You don't need one. Plus I want to hurry up and get home."

"Ugh." Clour had a feeling that this would be the worst year of his life. Boy was he screwed.. 


	3. Home sweet home, well almost

A/N~ Ok so I realize that I had stated in the first chapter that the sheep and the wolf was an old german story but I messed that up, its not, I get my nusery rhymes mixed up sometimes, sorry, But I made that story up for my little brother since i read him all the books that he already had so I stick to making up stuff for him, he likes the things that I come up with. And please excuse spelling mistakes. I don't think I am going to do a poem for this chapter. I will decide at the end.

Please enjoy, and leave me a review. Also some of the stuff that i used for sephiroths likes and dislikes ,not liking brocli, fav ice cream , fav movie, and fav soda and what not, I used my own likes and dislikes. I will be doing alot of that. even with cloud and other characters. I will point them out during the story with the words mine or not mine in these ( )

Genesis carried cloud the whole way to his car, which was one of Clouds favorites, the Audi r8, It was beautiful. Black, sleek and just perfect. He immediately fell in love with the car (mine). The ride over to Genesis' apartment on loveless avenue. Unfortunately Genesis carried cloud all the way from the car to the apartment and to the bed room. There was a giggling girl in the elevator, Cloud was beyond embarassed. Genesis just smirked.

When they got inside and Genesis placed Cloud on the couch and began laying down house rules.

"Alright, Since you are now under my supervision and will be living with me for the next year you should know a few very important things. One~ You will never be alone, at least until I can trust you, so you will be sleeping with me in the same bed, You are not allowed near anything metal or sharp, basically anything you can use as a weapon. Hence no access to the kitchen. alone. If you need something I will get it. You will use plastic utensals and cups and you will not ever take a bath. only showers. I will be there to supervise every little thing that you do. Any questions?"

Cloud had only one." your not going to be in there when i have to do my buisness are you?"

Genesis smirked. "That was actually a joke, I am hoping i can trust you long enough to 'do your buisness' alone."

"Um when can I go back to the academy?" Cloud asked hoping he heard something that would piss him off.

"In a year. After you have been cleared of all threats. But don't worry. I will teach you most of what you need to know and Sephiroth will come by on the weekends to fill you in on what you miss in his class and tutor you. When I am not here Angeal or Sephiroth will be here. But before you get setteled in, I am required to ask you why you attempted to kill your self and see if we can prevent it from happening again. Now lets start sharing." The red head took a seat in the arm chair acroos from him and waited.

Cloud comtemplated what he was about to do. He would be living with this guy for a year, and it was bound to happen at some point, right? And doing it this way would be easier and quicker, but then again, there was the chance that Genesis could completely freak out and Cloud didn't know him that well and could not predict how he would react, Well sometimes its good to take a couple of risks every once in a while.

" I think it would be easier for me to show you rather than tell you." All he got was a confused look from the red head and he just sighed. So Cloud got up and tried not to fall over as he approched Genesis. Finally infront of him with out much trouble, Cloud placed his hands on Genesis' temples and transferred every single memory from when he was a baby, the first time his father raped him, the first time either of his parents beat him, His first kiss, His almost first consensual time, his mother screaming that she hated him, every time his father fucked him and called him a worthless fag to now.

After Cloud took his hands away, Genesis looked at him with tears and shock and appalment in his eyes. He grabbed Cloud and pulled him into his lap and just held him. He couldn't believe parents could be that cruel. He never had any parents so he wouldn't know. But what he saw frightened him. And then what Sephiroth did, he couldn't believe what this child had been through but stayed stronge and never gave up hope, only to have that hope crushed and his heart along with it,

"Dude, I honestly thought you would freak out." Came Clouds muffled voice against Genesis' shoulder, Genesis just laughed.

"Sephiroth warned me already, and I read you were psychic in your file. You are not the only one in ShinRa. But enough of that, lets get dinner started." Suddenly Genesis hopped up, placing Cloud in the chair and prancing to the kitchen.

"Wait! You don't have any questions for me? Or... Something?" Cloud asked as he heard clanking in the kitchen. and now laughing.

"None what so ever." Cloud just rolled his eyes. This was going to be a weird year.

(shattering sound) the blondes head wiped in the direction of the kitchen, "Are you ok?" He asked cautiosly.

"Yup, no biggie, it was just a glass. Do you see the broom anywhere?" Cloud looked around and spotted the broom in the corner next to the front door, he got and brought it to Genesis but stopped short.

"Why is there a duck head on it?" he asked, a little uneased.

"I liked it. I thought it was intresting. Now go watch T.v and don't do anything stupid. I am watching you." Genesis gave him a warning look. Cloud just stuck out his toungue and giggled as he tried to run away as Genesis swatted at hid butt with the broom. Yeah this was going to be a really weird year, but entertaining most likely.


	4. A temporary relief

A/N~ ok so the last chapter was kinda short, sorry, but hopefully I will be able to drain as many ideas from my head as i can. But in other news, I now have my own beta, Alexj69, Super yay!!! So now my chapter won't suck and everything will make sense!! Double super yay!! Ich liebe dich Alex!!!!!! Danke und Ich freue mich auf die Zusammenarbeit mit Ihnen!!!! Danke Danke!!! Enjoy the chapter guys!! And here is another poem too, written of course by me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I lost my way

I don't know how but I lost my way.  
I don't know where to go anymore.  
I'm in this place where only darkness and I exist.  
I can't see in the darkness. I'm shackled in the shadows. I have no escape.  
My chains, they constrict me to this place.  
I run in the darkness not finding any light,  
I lost my light because I am losing my hope.  
I may be blind.  
There may be light all around me but I can't see it.  
Do I deserve this punishment?  
What did I do to cause this?  
I don't know how but I lost my way.  
This dark place is so constricting I'm imprisoned with no way out.  
No matter how loud I scream or how much I plead.  
nothing happens.  
I have no voice. No sound comes from me.  
I lost the will to fight against the chains I'm not ready fall into death's arms.  
I'm not ready to give up.  
I'm writing my last laments in my own blood.  
I feel no more pain.  
I'm so used to it now it just doesn't effect me anymore.  
I don't know how but I lost my way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So its been a week since Genesis brought him home and it wasn't boring that was for sure. Genesis was constantly up and about doing god knows what. And its was very rare that Cloud had a moment alone, yes Genesis kept to his word about letting him use the bathroom alone, but as soon as Cloud unlocked that door and not even completely opening it, Genesis was right there in his face turning him this way and that looking for anything that shouldn't be there. ' Well at least he wasn't trying to do a cavity check on my ass.' Cloud sighed in relief at that thought. That was until he felt a hand going into the back of his shorts.

He immediately jumped and jerked as far away from the red head as he could. Consequently tripping on the purple bath mat (mine) and falling backwards, grabbing on to the collar of Genesis' shirt to save himself from falling, only taking him down with him, Both yelped in surprise as they hit the floor, the petite blond beneath the masculine red head, But what surprised him the most was that his lips........and Genesis' lips.............were....... connected.... Oh god! 'Why the hell isn't he getting the fuck up dammit?!' Cloud screamed in his mind. But then something else came to mind.

It wasn't entirely unpleasant, quite the opposite actually, The red heads lips were soft and plush, and velvety smooth. Their eyes met and Cloud could tell the same thoughts were going through the others mind as well. Then it happened, Genesis pressed his lips a little bit harder against Cloud's, Cloud doing the same. The blond felt a tongue swipe along his bottom lip a couple of times, asking for entrance, which he hesitantly granted letting the smooth tongue into his mouth, meeting it half way.

It was beyond pleasant, it was.........Euphoric. It was like ecstasy and Cloud couldn't get enough of it and sank his fingers into the red spikes above him and pulled the others mouth closer. Bringing the other tongue in to his mouth even more, going a little deeper. Making Cloud moan into Genesis' mouth. Genesis grabbing on to Cloud's pelvis and pulling him closer, there bodies meeting at the hips, the red head grinding their hips together, making both immediately hard, both moaning into each others mouths and grinding harder.

Cloud disconnecting their mouths, in need of air, moaned when Genesis moved to his neck and sucking on his pulse. Unleashing complete bliss unto the blond, bringing forth loud and lustful moans, Genesis grinding harder and faster until they both just couldn't take it anymore, both releasing into their pants.

They both just lied on the bathroom floor catching their breath before realizing what just happened. Then there was a knock at the front door and Genesis jumped up and ran to answer it. Leaving Cloud on the floor confused and lost until he finally got up and fixed himself to look presentable and proceeded ti the living room where he stopped dead in his tracks and lost all breath in his body.

There stood the whole cause of Cloud's pain and strife. Sephiroth standing at the entrance talking with Genesis. Cloud could only think of what happened in the bathroom that day and what Sephiroth said to him running through his head again and tears began to well up in his eyes but he wouldn't let them fall, he wouldn't show his weakness. Then both generals looked at him.

"Cloud, Sephiroth is here to tutor you, um you two should sit at the table while I make lunch. " Genesis stated awkwardly, still getting over what had happened in the bathroom not five minutes ago. Sephiroth stared at Cloud expectantly, but there was also something else there, in his eyes, was that......regret? And pain? No it couldn't be, Cloud must be imagining it. Wishful thinking. Cloud just walked into the kitchen where Genesis was making grilled cheese panini's with pickles and jalapenos. Clouds favorite. ( not mine, my brothers favorite, ew) "Sephiroth would you like a spicy and cheesy panini? they are Clouds favorite." Sephiroth looked at Genesis questionably as he sat down with Cloud at the table.

"I'm sorry but a what?" He asked. Genesis chuckling at Sephiroth's lack of knowledge on teenage eating habits and foreign foods.

"A spicy and cheesy panini, It is like a grilled cheese sandwich panini style with mozzarella cheese, pickles, and jalapeno peppers. Its actually pretty good." Genesis finished two paninis and handing them to the two occupants of the table. Cloud took huge bites while Sephiroth looked at it with skepticism and hesitation."Oh come now Sephiroth, Its not like its going to bite you," The red head stated amusedly as he handed Cloud a Cranberry iced tea. (mine, its ordinary iced tea with a cup of cranberry juice in it) Genesis started on his panini.

Sephiroth cautiously picked up his panini and sniffed it, well it didn't smell too bad, it smelled appetizing actually, So he took a small bite from the edge and chewed, It did taste kind of good, then he took another bite, slightly larger than the last and loved the taste, He took a few more bites and grunted to Genesis in appreciation, then Cloud held up five fingers and took one away at every bite Sephiroth took of the panini, causing Genesis to snicker as he ate, and when he had no more fingers Sephiroth's eyes widened and he immediately started fanning at his mouth as he chewed the rest of his current bite and swallowed, then asking for water. Genesis already having a glass ready for him handed it to the silvery haired man who in turn chugged it down in two gulps slamming the glass down on the table with a huge exhalation of air.

"That good huh?" Genesis asked sarcastically, Sephiroth flipping him off as he got more water and finished his panini before chugging that glass as well, refilling the glass for the third time and waited for Cloud to finish his panini, eating and chewing slowly as if the heat didn't bother him. Causing a look of shock from Sephiroth.

"How can you eat that with out drinking water after a bite?" he asked bewildered. Genesis chuckling again.

"That kid can eat anything with no problem at all. These panini's are his recipe. He's a damn good cook" He said as he finished the last bite of his panini and grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and heading to the living room to watch tv. Cloud finished his panini and sipped at his cranberry tea. Waiting for Sephiroth to start with the lesson. But instead his chin was grabbed and turned to the left so fast his neck popped. Sephiroth looked at his neck closely examining the spot on the pulse of the teens neck that had caught his attention. There, as clear as day on the pale skin of the boys neck was what looked like........a motherfucking hicky!

"What is that?!" Sephiroth barked out at the blond who ever so slightly flinched. Cloud confused as to what the other male was talking about.

"Whats what?" He asked feeling at the accused spot that was warmer than the rest of his neck a a little sensitive. His hand smacked away as Sephiroth's ungloved finger ran across it, making Cloud shiver in the process.

"GENESIS! GET YOUR ASS BACK IN HERE RIGHT NOW!" Sephiroth yelled as he held Cloud's chin tighter in his grasp, the blond wincing at the slight pain. Genesis came up next to Sephiroth who was fuming more and more as he looked at the purplish spot on Cloud's neck. "Care explaining to me what the fuck that is on his neck because that doesn't look like anything but a hickey."

Genesis looked at the spot on Cloud's neck that the other general was pointing at and immediately cursed in his mind. "Well first of all, let go of his neck, Cloud go into the bedroom please." Cloud did so once the pressure on his chin was gone, he cracked the door of the bedroom and listened to the obvious enraged Sephiroth and defensive Genesis in the kitchen. "It was an accident, He was in the bathroom and when he came out I checked him to make sure he didn't do anything to himself and I was checking his lower back, I guess he didn't like that and he pulled away and tripped, I fell on top of him cause he grabbed my shirt, then our....lips kind of bumped together.....kinda. Its no big deal."

" No big deal? NO fucking big fucking deal?! That kid smelled like sex the moment I was next him and the spot on his neck didn't look like an accident! What did you somehow 'accidentally' stick your tongue down his throat and 'accidentally' slip your dick in his ass?! huh?!" Sephiroth sounded about ready to beat the crap out of Genesis. But the red head easily retorted.

"The tongue thing yes but no I did not have intercourse with him, We just kind of got a little too into it and we didn't stop, it was an accident." Genesis' voice got uncharacteristically louder and harsher.

"Fuck that shit! Accidents like that do NOT happen. Why didn't you stop and think for a second?! Huh?! What the fuck were you thinking?!" Cloud had had enough, he swung the door open and ran down the hall to the kitchen where the two generals were going at each others throats. He screamed at Sephiroth.

"Why the hell should you care?! I wanted him to do it, at least he didn't belittle me for no reason and make me try to kill myself!! If it weren't for you I wouldn't be here right now and it never would have happened! I wasn't asking you to be with me when we were in the bathroom, I was expecting you to say yes, All I wanted to do was tell you how I felt and get it off my chest, All you had to say was no I'm sorry I can't return your feeling but I apprciate you telling me or something like that. But instead you mocked me and belittled me, And what business is it of yours who I fuck and make out with and who I don't?! And it was an accident! and to use your exact words, Do you understand me or do I have to spell it out completely to you so that small inane thing inside your head you call a brain can understand? and go get the reality check that you so desperately need!!!!!!!" Cloud panted as he glared at the shocked Sephiroth with as much venom he could muster at that moment.

Genesis stood just as equally as shocked as Sephiroth and stared at Cloud trying to figure out if he should be appreciative of him or what? He didn't know. But Sephiroth looked at Cloud with more pain in his eyes and regret even more apparent in his eyes, Cloud could obviously see that he regretted what he did to him that day and wished he could take it back, But it was too late for him, Cloud hated him as much as he hated his so called family. Sephiroth looked to the floor, wishing it would just open up and swallow him whole or take him back to that day so he could stop him self from saying all of those things to the innocent boy before him now who hated him so much, And Sephiroth knew that Cloud mat never forgive him even if he asked for it.

"Sephiroth, I believe that it is time that you leave." Genesis calmly stated and Sephiroth nodded and headed for the door but stopped before he opened it, He looked to Cloud whos eyes were down cast and it was obvious that he was trying not to cry. Sephiroth went to say something but decided against it and left. He leaned against the door hoping that his decision wouldn't come back on him and left.

Inside Cloud broke down and fell to his knees crying into his hands and sobbing, Genesis bent down and picked him up, cradling him in his arms and holding him close to his chest, letting the teen bury his face into his neck and cry harder. The red head carried him to the bedroom and layed him down on the bed, he petted the blond spikes to comfort him, "Do you want me to get you anything Cloud?" He inquired in a gentle tone.

Cloud looked at him with blood shot eyes "Please just stay with me, I don't want to be alone." He pleaded in a broken voice. Genesis nodded and lied down next to the distraught blond and let him snuggle up to him and hide his face in his warm chest. He rubbed Clouds back in slow comforting circles. Then Cloud moved his head up higher until their faces met. Clouds eyes held so much pain and dismay that Genesis' heart wrenched at he sight. "Genesis..(sniffle) Please make me feel better...(hiccup) Make me forget the pain....Please." Cloud softly kissed the others lips with desperation, "Please" the blond said over and over but it seemed like it fell on death ears. Cloud kissed Genesis hard and climbed into his lap. Genesis wanted to help Cloud, he really did, but he couldn't let this go any gently tried to push Cloud away, the blonds lips left his and he took his chance and sat up with the blond still in his lap.

"Cloud, stop......(Kissed)...Cloud you have to stop." The still crying boy shook his head and kissed the red head again with even more desperation and he pleaded even more for a release from all of the pain, but no words came out, just sobs and almost silent cries. Genesis was lost of what to do, The boy wrapped his arms around his neck and kissed him harder, shoving his tongue into the others mouth and desperately trying to persuade him. Genesis gave in, he knew he shouldn't have but he did and he grabbed Clouds sides and pushed him backward to the foot of the bed and ravished his mouth as he began to pull the boys shirt up, their lip disconnecting for barely a second as the shirt was discarded to the floor. Their lips meeting again as soon as the shirt was above Clouds head. Genesis ran his hands down the blonds sides and stopped at the hem of his pants.

He hesitated for a second but Cloud made a noise that was a moan and a cry or plead, Genesis pulled the pants down and off as quick as he could and went for the underwear but found none, That was new, but quickly dismissing it, Genesis left Clouds lips and went to his neck, licking the spot from earlier affectionately before moving further down to pert nipples on the teens chest and licked one before taking it into his mouth and sucking a little hard. the nipple was rosy red and erect as he moved to the other one and did the same. He licked the rest of his way to the sensitive belly button and dipped his tongue inside and sucked and nipped all around the belly button, making the boy beneath him release shakey breaths and quiet moans, Moving down further until he finally began to kiss and lick Clouds rock hord leacking memeber, The blond let out yelps and moans as Genesis took him completely into his mouth and sucked him hard and bobbed his head, Cloud burried his fingers in to the red spikes and thrust in to that perfectly devious mouth surrounding his cock, "Oh Genesis, please...I-I canlt wait an-any longer, I need you IN Me! Please! Fuck me Ha- Hard!!"  
Genesis released the slick cock from his mouth, he went back to Clouds plump lips and ravished that lovely mouth as he reached behind him and rumaged through the night stand drawer, finally finding the bottle of lube that he always kept there...for obvious.....reasons.  
Genesis drizzled a good amount over his fingers, dropping the bottle for later on the bed and inserted the first finger as he brought Cloud back into his lap as he thrust his finger into that tight entrance as he continued to ravish the blonds mouth. After he inserted the second finger Cloud was riding them hard and fast with vigor and desperation wanting more with every thrust. Then he added the third and last finger and thrust all of them in hard as Cloud moaned loudly into the red heads mouth.  
Feeling that he was stretched adequitly, Genesis quickly unzipped his jeans, finally releasing his painful erection and slamming into the blonds ass, Cloud sreaming at the top of is lungs and wasted no time began to ride Genesis hard. Genesis grunting everytime his dick went in and out of that sweet ass (this feels so awkward writing dude) He met Cloud with a hard thrust every time the gravity brought him back down, further intensifying the pure bliss and raw pleasure that was unleashed unto the two beaties locked together.

"Genesis....ugghh....I'm gon-gonna.......Auuugghhhh!!!!!!!!" The petite boy in the red heads lap screamed before he came on to both of their abdomens. Genesis, not being able to hang on any longer, gave one final hard thrust before he too came with in the broken angel in his arms. They both collapsed on to the bed, wrapped in each others arms and falling a sleep.

Even though it was late afternoon they slept soundly and peacfully into the night. That is until Sephiroth came back for the cell phone that he forgot on the kitcen table.

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Oh, cliff hanger, next chapter should be up soon. Special thanks to my loyal readers and my new beloved beta AlexJ69!  
After this chapter, all other chapters will be reviewed and edited by alex. Lots of love every one! Oh and find me on myspace, just search my yahoo email that I gave in the first chapter, and if you are too lazy to go back to that chapter then fine, here it is again . 


	5. Panini Recipe

Ok so before anyone asks for it I am going to go ahead and give you all the recipe for my brothers favorite sandwich that is in fact his very own creation.  
Ok so here are the ingreiants that you are so going to need, also if you know how to make a panini and a grilled cheese sandwich then you are going to breeze right through this, If you feel you won't be able to then don't be afraid to ask me or my brothers for help, I will pass your questions on to him.

Ingrediants~ Any kind of bread that will be good in a frying pan, But you should use something like panini bread Pickles, you may choose any kind you like, you could even use pickled relish. Ripe Jalapeno peppers, if you don't like them you may choose to use another kind of pepper that you like.  
Red chili peppers are good too.  
Some diced yellow onion, make sure it is ripe and you can not smell anything through its peel bacause that may mean that it is overly ripe and in the process of rotting. But you can get some pre diced onions at your local publix in your produce section.  
You need mozzerella cheese, that is one thing you can not change, but you can add another kind of cheese to make it taste the way you like. Make sure you check the experiration date before buying it.  
A little bit of garlic powder and some freshly ground black pepper.

Instructions~ Ok well before you start cooking everything toast your chosen bread to get it the panini look. After that get a clean frying pan and put a teaspoon (tsp) and a half in the pan, margerine is good too. Dice your peppers and pickles and put them into a seperate bowl from everything else, lightly sprinkle the galic powder and pepper over it and stir it together, then add your diced onions to it, just a little bit though, just pick up some of tem between your thumb and first three fingers of the hand that you write with, stir it again.  
Now get your cheese's and spinkle it onto you toasted bread untill you can't see anything but cheese then take your peppers,  
pickles and onions and lightly sprinkly your desired amount on top of the cheese, put more cheese untill you see nothing green with your other piece of toasted bread and put it in the hot pan and do the samething you would with a grilled cheese sandwich.

If you have any questions please ask me because I don't want you burning down your effing kitchens. remember if you are not used to the kitchen please ask for help from some one you know that is.

Love you all and happy eating, oh and make sure you have pleany of water near by as you are eating be cause you are definately going to need.

ove Mandy! 


	6. A change of scenary

A/n~ ok so I am happy that you guys are still with me this far into the story, So lets get to it, No poem for this chapter, I am on my laptop and it doesn't have any of my crap on it. So what ever.  
Also this chapter will probably contain rape and abuse of Cloud. Don't hate me! Now on with the chapter.  
~~~~~~ He forgot his cell phone. He knew why but he dreaded the moment he walked back into the to be yelled at again. But that wasn't the case, no one was in the living room, or the kitchen. Odd, he thought as he went through the hallway to the bedroom. the door was wide open and the room smelled like........sex. Genesis wouldn't, but then again the argument from earlier contradicted that. Sephiroth looked into the room and was immediately enraged by what he saw.  
Cloud, naked and draped over Genesis' torso and what looked like dried semen on both of their abdomens, Genesis equally as naked and one arms resting behind his head as the other around the blonds waist. Both covered in a dimming sheet of sweat and both breathing slightly heavy. They also seemed to be asleep.  
Trembling with rage,Sephiroth stomped to the bed, "GET THE FUCK UP MOTHER FUCKER!" Both bed occupants were jerked awake from their short slumber by the animalistic roar from Sephiroth and as soon as they both saw the silver general, they both immediately tried to cover up, By the enraged look that Sephiroth was giving both of them Genesis forsake his search to hide his nakedness and kneeled in a protective manner in front of Cloud in a protective manner, Hoping to the goddess that Sephiroth wouldn't get violent. "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HIM GENESIS?! i THOUGHT I COULD TRUST YOU TO NOT LET SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPEN AGAIN!!!" Sephiroth roared again. Genesis tensing even more as he predicted an inevitable fight.  
"Sephiroth calm down now. I will not lie that yes I had CONSENSUAL sex with Cloud. I will take full responsibility and accept any punishment you that you ask for, but do NOT blame Cloud for this." Genesis stated as calmly as he could as he tensed even more infront of the cowering Cloud behind him as he saw Sephiroth begin to seethe. Genesis knew this wouldn't end well at all, far from well actually.  
"I DON'T FUCKING CARE, YOU ARE NO LONGER WATCHING CLOUD, I AM GOING TO KEEP HIM WITH ME AT ALL TIMES!" Sephiroth roared once more before he reached behind Genesis and yanked Cloud from the bed completely "Get the fuck dressed right now and pack everything that is yours! You have ten minutes! I am calling Lazard!" Then he had his phone in his hand and already talking to Lazard while Cloud got yanked on some shorts that he was pretty sure were Genesis', Hanging up his phone Sephiroth glared daggers at Cloud, still obviously seething."Why the fuck are you not doing what you were told.  
Cloud gave his very own death glare to Sephiroth with his arms crossed over his bare chest. "And what the fuck makes you think I am going to listen to you assfuck?!"  
Cloud looked as confident as he could even though he was scared shitless. He didn't know what would happen if Sephiroth actually took him with him. Sephiroth only seemed to become more enraged and slapped the blond across the face, a little bit of blood entering the teen mouth as he hit the floor.  
After that Genesis was on Sephiroth in the blink of an eye. The red head wrestled the general with barely any problems when he had him in a head lock. Sephiroth definitely struggled but failed since all he was concentrated on was grabbing the blond and beating some sense into him. But Genesis had too strong a hold around his neck. The red head looked to Cloud as the teen tried getting up a little groggily while holding his already swelling cheek. "Cloud, get my phone off the night stand and call speed dial 3 and hold it to my ear. Now." The blond nodded and staggered to the black, cherry wood night stand and grabbed the phone, his vision blurring as he called speed 3 and held to Genesis' pierced ear.  
"Hello Tseng? yeah hi, I need you and your team at my place like now,.....Well I need some I help, Sephiroth is really pissed off and hit - You know the kid who tried to kill himself in the dorms a few weeks ago? ..yeah him, well I tell you everything when you get here okay?...Yeah hurry please, Okay bye...Hang up Cloud and....go get a bag of peas or corn from the freezer and hold it on your cheek after you take a couple of pain killers kay? and lay down on the couch until the turks get here, They will let them selves in, Uh could you grab me my boxers please?" The red head held the still struggling general as Cloud helped him awkwardly his black boxers on and then went to the kitchen.  
"I swear to god Genesis, I will have him removed from your custody." Sephiroth growled at Genesis. He tried prying the arms from around his neck. to no avail but kept trying.  
"Genesis?! Where the fuck are ya yo?!" The sultry and seductive voice of Reno flitted to his ears.  
"I'm in the bedroom," Tseng and the rest of the team went to the bedroom. It took the whole team to subdue Sephiroth again after Genesis let him go, "Thanks guys I'm going to check on Cloud."  
"Fine we are going to sedate him and take him to the infirmary. We'll get a report after everything is calmed down somewhat." Tseng stated, Signaling Reno for the Clorafom. Since strong does' of it can take any SOLDIER down, Genesis nodded and went to the living room.  
As soon as he saw Cloud on the couch shaking and crying the red head was immediately concerned. "Cloud?" he called as he sat on the coffee table and rubbed soothing warm circles on the blonds bare back, hoping it would calm him down somewhat but instead the crying blond threw himself into the others arms and cried for what felt like eternity."W-why wou-would he do that? What did I-I do to ma-make him hat-hate me so much?" The teen could barely get all of his words out with out having to breath in the middle of his sentence.  
Then the turks came out with a not unconscious Sephiroth. Who in turn was looking at Genesis with disgust and pure hate but then at Cloud with pain, guilt, regret and........was that love? Oh no. Genesis immediately worried for Cloud, shot up from the coffee table "What the hell? Why wasn't he subdued?" Tseng was the one to answer his question.  
"Sephiroth seems very adamant about Cloud staying with him till everything is cleared up So Cloud get dressed, you are leaving immediately." Cloud felt his heart die on the spot. He didn't want to leave Genesis, He......loved looked at the Turks pleadingly but noticed his duffel bags were in Reno's and Rude's hands already packed. " we left you a change of clothes on the bed." Tseng stated impatiently, Cloud looked to Genesis but he only looked away, he already knew he wouldn't win this. the red head quickly glanced at the blond silently telling him everything will be ok. Cloud had no other choice than to trust him.

After dressing and being lead out to Sephiroth's car, a black dodge viper(mine), another of Clouds favorites, but he wouldn't admit that. Sephiroth looked at Cloud expectantly and the cadet just ignored him, sighing, Sephiroth stomped towards the blond, picked him up around the waist and put him in the passengers seat and buckled him in. Cloud flipped him off when he was in the drivers side, Sephiroth just gave him a bored look." How bout I break that finger?" Cloud quickly hid his hands in his jacket pockets and looked out the window."Thats what I thought." then out of no where Cloud looked back at the general with a look of pure hate.

"I hate you and from now on I'm calling you shitface. and there is nothing that you can say or do to get me to respect you ever." If looks could kill. Sephiroth just rolled his eyes and drove to his apartment. Cloud looking at him wishing that he would spontaneously com bust at any second.

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Ok I am uber sorry that this took so long but I have been really sick lately and i couldn't even concentrate on eating let alone writing. well leave me a review and tell me what you think about it. I have three other stories to update. 


	7. Pain isn't even the right word

A/N~ so I know the last chapter pissed off some of you, Alex I am sorry, i love you! but guys everything is leading down to and awesome twist so bear with me and lets remember that Turks rhyms with Jerks. I love you all. And remember guys if theres something that you think will greatly benefit my stories (technically mine and alex's stories) tell us and we will find out a way to incorporate you ideas into the stories.

Well Sephiroth's apartment wasn't bad, Genesis' was still way better but it wasn't bad. it was comfortable and welcoming. Cloud felt kind of at home but he didn't feel right here. He didn't feel protected. Especially since Sephiroth was there, I mean how would you feel if someone who made you try to kill yourself after rejecting you in the meanest way then ripped you away from the one person that made all of the pain go away with out a thought after back handing you was forcing you to live with them?

Cloud was actually scared of Sephiroth now. But everytime Cloud looked at the general he could see he regretted everything and wanted so desperately for Cloud to forgive him. And Cloud knew he would but it would take time, he just needed Sephiroth to admit he was wrong and found the balls to ask Cloud for forgivness. But it still hurt the blond. The general left many open wounds that would probably never completely heal.

"Cloud, can i trust you enough to have a room to yourself?" Sephiroth asked with a hint of hesitation in his voice. Cloud just looked at him.

"The question is, can I trust you enough to never hit me again?" Cloud said flatly. Sephiroth deflated and looked like a puppy that had been beaten too many times. " I don't i understand why you would hit me. Yes i insulted you but that isnt reason enough to go rambo on me."

Sephiroth really didn't know how to say it but it had to be now or never because if he didn't Cloud would hate him forever.

"I didn't mean to hit you, my emotions got the better of me. I was angery and envious. I saw you and Genesis together and you were just so comfortable with him holding you and you looked so peaceful. I just couldn't help but wish that I had been in Genesis' .....place."

Cloud was confused, why would he want that? " Why?" He asked sightly afraid of the answer he would get. Sephiroth looked at him again and looked back to the ground. Now or never.

"Because......I-I lo-(Clouds cell phone ringing) Cloud pulled out his cell and saw Genesis' name lit up on the screen. He quickly answered.

"Hello?"

"Cloud? are you alright? Has he hurt you?" Genesis asked in a paniced tone. Obviously worried sick for the small blond.

"No he hasn't. but I don't trust him not to. I don't want to be here. It doesn't feel safe."

After Cloud said that Sephiroth wanted to die on the spot. But it didn't happen. No matter how loud he mentally screamed for it to. But then he realized, Cloud was talking to Genesis. Right in the middle of Clouds next sentence the general ripped the phone from clouds hand and broke it in half and threw it on the floor, stomping on it for good measure. Cloud watched the others actions infuriated. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"I do not want you talking with that rapist!" He roared at the blond, further angering him.

"And what are you? A beater? You wanna rip me in half too? Stomp on me? I'm right here waiting for ya. You hit me before, whats gonna stop you from doing it again?" And Sephiroth did just that, The blond hit the floor before he knew what happened but then his eye was in tremendous pain, it felt like he had just gotten slammed with a sledge hammer. He held his left eye and looked at Sephiroth in shock. Sephiroth looked equally as shocked. He couldn't believe he did that again. He approached Cloud to hug him but as soon a he moved closer the blond gasped and shot up and stagered as fast as he could to the bathroom, locking the door as soon as the door was closed. Sephiroth ran after him and banged on the door.

"Cloud, let me in, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to- please let me in!" All he heard behind the door was loud, pained sobbing. He refused to wait now. Backing up he kicked the door in, breaking the lock in the process and found the blond boy huddled in the corner next to the bathtub. He hated himself immensly now. Cloud looked at him, his eyes full of fear and he drew in tighter to himself when the silverette approached him and kneeled down next to him. "Cloud-"

"Stay a-away from me. I Hate You! I want Genesis!" Cloud thrashed against Sephiroths arms that went around him in an attempt to comfort him and calm him down, When Cloud placed his hands on Sephiroth's chest, trying to push him away but he was just yanked against the broad chest and held in strong arms. But he kept pushing."Let me go!!!" Cloud yelled at the top of his lungs as he tried pushing the general away but failed as all of his strength was quickly depleting from his trembling body.

Sephiroth, now tired of the blonds resistance held his arms in a crushing grip, hearing a loud crack from one of them and then cloud screaming, and held him face to face with himself. Clouds face was streaked with tears. and apparently he wore eyeliner. He looked pitiful. and vulnerable, and positively fuckable. He pulled the boy closer to him and claimed Clouds lips with vigor and giving no sign that he would be letting go any time soon.

Clouds eyes widened and he began to push Sephiroth away but instead the general grabbed his wrists and held them away from their bodies. He began to lick and suck at the blonds lips, asking for entrance but never got it,Clouds muffled screams rang in his ears but he didn't let them bother him. He forced clouds mouth open and shoved his tongue in, but didn't get very far as Cloud bit it, hard. That only spurred him on though and let go of the boys hands and grabbed his perfectly curved hips and pulled him into his lap, grinding their groins together and moaning as he felt himself get harder then he already was. Cloud only bit his tongue harder. Pushing at him harder.

He cried, He hated what Sephiroth was doing to him. He didn't understand why Sephiroth was like this. He had never done anything to him to deserve this. Why was he being punished? Then out of no where he heard a click. And then Sephiroth stopped everything he was doing. He pulled away. Cloud looked behind him and swore he saw the goddess herself in the form of Genesis Rhapsodos. He was saved.

Hey sorry it took so long to finish this chapter. I wasn't even expecting it getting done today cause i had school today and missed my school bus, you guys are lucky. Anywho i hope you liked it and Hopefully the next chapter will be up quicker than this one was.


	8. That Day

(A/N) wats up? To all of you who have not given up on me and are still reading this story I must thank you tremendously. I honestly thought that I would give up on this story right after the second chapter but you guys have kept me going. Thank you. I know that I have been saying that AlexJ69 would be editing my chapters from now on and make everything shining diamonds like in Our story Dumb Blonds but i have been too lazy to send them to her so she can add that little sprinkling of crack that she does with everything that makes everyone want more. (Hides from enraged Alex wearing girl version of Genesis cosplay costume.) (Whispers) Now enjoy this chapter or get the fuck out.

And remember that these (!) are what will be next to things that will be explained after the chapter.  
_

Cloud had never felt so relieved in his entire life, Especially when he saw his beloved Genesis holding a red gun blade (!) to Sephiroths head, the look of murder on his face and in his eyes.

"Get your hands off of him right now or get your brain splattered across the walls."  
He snarled menacingly. His upper lip going up slightly. He pushed the mouth of the gun into Sephiroths temple for emphasis. "Now!"

Sephiroth slowly slid his arms away from the small, broken teen, and moved away from him. Then there were turks surrounding him. 'Shit.' He looked at Cloud as he was being pulled into the red head generals arms and held lovingly. Genesis carried the boy out of the bathroom and out of the apartment. Sephiroth knew he screwed up, badly.

Then Tseng was in his face with a gun. "Sephiroth, I don't think your getting out of this one very easily. Lets see what Lazard has to say." Then Reno covered his nose with an extremely wet cloth that smelled rancidly sweet, then nothing.

~~~~~~With Cloud~~~~~~ He never knew pain like this existed, yea he broke his leg when he was seven after jumping of the piers dock but at least then it didn't feel like somebody kicked him in the face with steel toed boots. Cloud wrapped his arms tighter around Genesis' neck and sobbed more. Just happy to be away from that man.

"Its ok Cloud, I'm taking you home just go to sleep." Then Cloud smelled something sweet pressing up against his nose and then everything was black. It felt like an eternity before he woke up again and it wasn't where he wanted to be. This place looked a lot like his room at his Aunt Shannon's house in Modeoheim. Why was he here? Where was Genesis? Why wasn't he at home in bed with Genesis holding him, making everything bad go away?

"Genesis!"

There was muffled voices from down stairs and then hurried foot steps getting closer to him. And then his Aunt Shannon and Uncle Dante burst through the door followed by Genesis and four turks. Cloud was miles past confused. Why was he in Modeoheim? What the fuck was going on? After being crushed in his aunts and uncles death like hugs he looked at Genesis for answers. all he got was a forlorn look of disappointment and defeat.

"Genesis? What is going on? why am I here?" Cloud voice began to shake and quiver, fearing what the answer might be. Please Gaia don't let this be the end.

As he spoke, Genesis did not look at the beautiful blond former cadet he fell in love with. But this had to be done. "May I have a few moments with cloud alone please?" The Turks were weary at first but left any way, along with Clouds Aunt and Uncle. Only giving the blond a quick glance before being fixated on the floor. He couldn't watch Cloud cry, he knew he would."Cloud,...I am so very sorry but...your schooling and training at the academy has been terminated. you won't be able to ever go back because it would be too dangerous for you, me and Sephiroth, after today you will have no interaction, contact or anything at all to do with Shin-Ra and SOLDIER and. . .Me. I am sorry." He risked looking at the blond just once and he immediately regret it.

Cloud looked shattered. Broken into so many microscopic, unimportant pieces that one would casually walk all over on a common side walk in the Midgar slums. His tears flowed like a Gongaga water fall would. His face was completely emotionless. But most of all, Clouds eyes, those beautiful icy blue eyes were so empty and dead that he would make a corpse look like a living person. He didn't even look like he was breathing. Genesis could even hear the boys heart thudding in his chest. It sounded like it would stop at any second. Genesis couldn't bear it. Over come with the urge to hold Cloud he forced his feet to move closer to him but Cloud immediately backed away. He backed up into the wall behind him and sank down to the floor, his knees at his chest.

"Please,.(sniffle) t-te-tell me you-..(cough) lieing. Just tell me (inhale) you are lieing." His voice kept breaking, his heart hurt and it felt like it was being ripped rite out of his chest by Ifrit. Cloud looked desperately at Genesis' face and was surprised to find tears rolling down his cheeks. He was...crying. Then Cloud knew, he knew that this was no lie, no joke, no cruel way to play around with him. This was all real, After Genesis walked out that bedroom door, it would be the last time Cloud ever saw him ever again and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. He could fight and scream all he wanted, When Genesis leaves Cloud wouldn't be going with him. His heart stopped, right there, it felt like an eternity until it gave one minuscule weak beat. Like it was telling him to be strong and that he had to get through this no matter how much it hurt.

But Cloud knew he wouldn't be able to make it. He knew that he would be alone forever and never be meant to be happy and bliss. The only thing he was meant for was to be used, hurt, beaten, and betrayed. Nothing could save him.

"Im sorry, Cloud. Always know that I love you. " Those were Genesis' last words to him before he turned around and left the room, closing the door behind him.A few moments later Genesis and the Turks left. Never to return. Genesis couldn't hide his tears the whole helicopter ride home. He didn't want to, he let them fall from his sea green eyes freely. His heart was completely broken. he knew that only Cloud could put it back together, and only he could do the same for Cloud. but they both would never get the chance to. No matter how much either of them desperately wanted that chance. They could make deals with the devil, sell their souls, even go to the edge of the universe for that chance and they would still never get it.

And the moment Genesis left that room, Cloud made a vow to never love again, To never feel anything ever again. he would be the emotionless shell that he once was. Nothing would change him. He would never let anyone in ever again.

~A/n~

(!) Its a mini version of Genesis' Rapier with a gun built in.

As I wrote this chapter I cried. I am actually writing this story from something in my life that I hope will never happen, When I tell The guy I love how I feel about him i hope everything doesn't play out like this. the next chapter is on its way. might be posted the some day as this one. I dont know yet 


	9. Sorry

Hi everybody! i know i havent updated at all in a really long time and i am really sorry! I have the worst case of writers block ever with this story! but i have been working on the new chapter the whole time. Yeah, i have been working on the same chapter for almost 2/3s of a year now. thats how bad the writers block is. but i am hopeing i will have it done soon. with in this month sometime this week or next week. again i am very sorry i am working like crazy on this thing. but I love you guys and I think i will make you guys an alternative chapter from the story. 


	10. Sealed with a kiss

7 months later.

"Genesis, you will take your platoon to Modeoheim, there is a mako reactor there that needs repairs and everyone else is busy, since you platoon has had special training in Reactor repairs your the perfect canidates." Lazard informed the red haired General.

Genesis was slightly taken aback, they were sending him to Modeoheim? Where Cloud was? "Excuse me Director sir but, Are you sure you don't want to send someone else in my place? Tseng maybe? I'm not sure if you remember-"

"Oh I remember perfectly whats there, Your bimonthly Psyche evaluations have been showing severe depression and lack of emotion ever since you were last in Modeoheim. Hojo recommended you go back and see him. He said it might do something to change your...behavior. It might get in the way of another mission like in Gongaga. Your troops almost died and so did you. Sephiroth has been no better either. But I can't risk sending him with you. He is still unreliable around the boy. Consider this a paid vacation with a little of work on the side. You have four months there. Use them wisely. Dismissed."

Genesis could not say anything. He couldn't find the didn't feel like a good idea. But he couldn't do anything about it, Lazards word was final, he had to go to Modeoheim and face Cloud once again.

~Next day~

Genesis and his platoon hurried off the helicopter when it touched down in the middle of Modeoheim, in Tarabithia square.(!) There was a huge crowd gathering after the helicopter left. Genesis tried not to look for the Blond tuft of spikes as he gave his group of twelve their instructions.  
"After you get to your rooms at the inn you have all of today for R & R, Tomorrow we go to the reactor and inspect what needs to be done. then we will contact HQ know what we need and wait till we get the supplies, until then you may use that free time to do whatever. Dismissed!" The group of 3rds and 2nds headed to the inn as Genesis debated wether he should visit the Strife residence or not. No he wouldn't. He would wait for a little bit.

Set on his decision Genesis grabbed his bags and headed for the inn, until he bumped into someone. dropping everything. "Oh I am so sorry, I-" "Do you know how much i hate those words?" Genesis' heart stopped when he heard that voice. It...changed a little bit. It sounded like an empty sound, it was no longer full of sweet songs. Its just empty. He looked up and he was shocked at what he saw. It was Cloud yes but he didn't look very good.

He was still attractive very much so, But his face, had scars on his cheek, they looked like claw marks. and his neck was tattooed, he had a choker of thorns and roses wraped around his neck. but a lot of the picture was obstructed by more claw marks. He had bags under his eyes too, eveidence of either severe depression or barely any sleep and his hair was no longer that beautiful blond color, it was pitch black and the spikes were gone, it was just flat, it looked kinda like an emo hair cut. For a snowy tundra like Modeoheim, Cloud seemed not to have a problem wearing short sleeves, And his arms were covered in scars, there was not one inch of flesh that was spared from a razor blade. Even the backs of his hands were scarred.

And Cloud looked like a fleshy bag of bones. He still with held his beauty but he was so skinny and lanky. Genesis could practically see the bones through his skin. Cloud literally looked like the walking dead. Nothing like the boy that he fell in love with so long ago.

"Cloud? What happened to you?" Genesis asked as he picked his bags up out of the many snow mound around Tarabithia square.

Cloud rolled his dull eyes. "Like you don't should know better than anyone. But its not like you care. How long until you leave and go back to Midgar? The less i see of you the better." Clouds voice was full of venom. His words were only meant to hurt nothing more. And he had no remorse for it, he wanted Genesis to feel the pain he felt and still feels.

Genesis felt the pang of tears in his eyes and the burn in his throat but he held it all back. Cloud obviously hated him to a point but he could see that he still loved him. Why else would he say these things. he was looking for a way out but Genesis wouldn't give it to him. Genesis stood at full height and stepped closer to the former blond, His lips were still plump and perfect, but they were deathly white. "Cloud you know you don't mean any of that." He said as he cupped Clouds pale cheek and brought their faces closer and closer until their lips connected. Then Genesis felt a searing pain in his lip then his groin. Clous bit his lip and then kneed him in the balls. Genesis was curled on the ground holding his...junk and whimpering. For a bony little brat he had strong ass legs.

"Fuck you." And with that Cloud turned and left. Nonchalantly walking home and ignoring the stares he got. He really didn't care what people think of what he just did. They should all know by now that he does what he wants and doesn't care about the aftermath. He could hear Genesis call after him but he ignored it. Even though he felt the tears start to fall from his eyes he would let this whole thing die down before he faced Genesis again. He wanted revenge and he would get it. any way he saw fit.

Genesis followed Cloud after he got over the horrid pain in his manly bits. He wasn't mad because he knew he deserved that but Cloud didn't fully understand how sorry he was and that he wanted to make everything better. But Cloud had to let him do that first. He followed Cloud all the way back to his Aunt Shannons and raced up behind him before he got through the open door and grabbed the boy from behind. He got a loud surprised yelp from him as he threw him over his shoulder. He was lighter than paper.

"Aunt Shannon! Help! This freak is trying to kidnap me!" Cloud screeched and beat at Genesis' back with his small fists and tried to kick him in the face with his feet, almost succeeded a couple of times but Genesis was to fast with his hands.

A beautiful woman that he very much recognised as Aunt Shannon came into the door way with a bat and the look of death in her eyes until she saw him and she hesitantly smiled. "Hello General. Its good to see you again, I think."  
She warily looked to Clouds thrashing body. She knew there would be problems with this really soon. If she hadn't gotten a call from The SOLDIER Director, Lazard she would have been swinging her autographed Babe Ruth world series replica bat. She got it on ebay.

"Hi Shannon. how are you?" His hair was now being ripped out so he ducked his head forward.

"Oh i'm...(looked at her bat)Batty." Holding up the bat for emphasis.

"You Traitor!"

"I'll just take him up to his room and talk to him." He got growls and screams the whole way to Clouds room. They only stopped when Genesis dropped Cloud on the bed and held him down. " I will let you go when you calm down. I need to talk to you."

"I don't want to talk to you. I hate you. You left me here! Alone! I needed You and you weren't there! You didn't care worth a shit about me!" The tears flowed freely from Clouds drained eyes as he sobbed, Genesis brought his face to his chest and hushing the crying boy. He felt tears forming in his eyes as well. "Why did you leave me? So many times i woke up at night looking for you cause i had a bad dream. I tried killing myself so many times because it hurt to much to live with out you! I want you back! I need you back! Please don't leave me again! I need you with me!"

Genesis let his tears fall as he brought Cloud's face away from his chest and looked into his now pained broken eyes that were over flowing with tears. "I promise I won't leave you ever again. When Its time for me to go back to Midgar I'm taking you with me. I won't leave with out you." He sealed his promise with a kiss.

(A/N should i keep writing for this story or not? you decide) 


	11. Forgivness is only the beginning

So it has been a very, very, very, very long time since i have updated or even gave any sign that i was alive. I am very sorry. But I recently suffered 2 horrid losses in my family. My little brother who was 6 and my son who was 3 both died in a car accident and I'm still...suffering. so I have been writing poetry and short stories and anything basicaly just to keep myself occupied and out of a mental institution. so I thought i would take this opportunity to update some of my stories...forgive me if something seems off about them. im still getting over some ...things.

For the first time in 7 months Cloud was genuinely smiling. Yesterday Genesis had promised that he would never leave his side again. He did make it clear thought that he did need to keep up with his work so he would see him every time he had a free secon, minute, hour, day. He even sealed his promise with a kiss. But Cloud already knew that in 4 months, Genesis would be leaving Modeoheim and going back to Midgar.

Genesis also promised that he would talk to Lazard about letting him come back. Cloud knew that getting back in the academy was out of the question but Cloud could live with Genesis or get his own apartment. As long as Cloud could come back and be with Genesis.

Today Cloud was painting in his room. the Painting was still in its basic process. Even Cloud didnt know what it was going to be. But he knew it was a gift for Genesis. As he was making graceful purple strokes on the canvas he heard his door open and heavy boots clunking along his floor. Genesis of course.

"Your here early today. Did the reactor supplies not come in yet?" He asked. his flat black hair in his face as he effortlessly painted out a purple moon shining amongst black stars in a white sky.

"Genesis is still going over the inventory of the order. I just came to visit." That voice, the bane of his nightmares, the cause of all of his reason why he was destroyed inside and out. But He didnt show his emotions on the outside. He kept painting and kept himself calm and dead looking.

"Sephiroth, what an unpleasantly unwelcomed surprise. What brings you back into my life? I thought i changed the locks and threw away the key. You must have made copies." Cloud smiled at his own joke, slightly surprised he remembered how to make one. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Sephiroth take a seat on the stool next to his easel. He didnt look different in anyway. he looked slightly thinner but not too much to notice.

"I just came to see you." His head dropped as if he were ashamed of the past, and in all honesty. he was. " I wanted to apologise for everything I did. For ruining your life and ruining your relationship with Genesis. I know that you wont forgive me but I just want you to know that i am very sorry. I have tried killing myself for everything i did, have done. I hate myself for it and I need you to know that I am so sorry."

Cloud could here the tears in Sephiroths could tell how sincere he was. Cloud just didnt know if he was ready to forgive Sephiroth for everything and anything...when in fact, he already had. Just realizing it. Cloud had realized that all these months, stranded in Modeoheim, aka the devils heart, (coldest motherfucking place on earth in his opinion) he had spent only two of those months trying to kill himself and hating everyone for everything. the scars were already healed and permanantely on his skin but a reminder that sometimes he was the one that cause all of this trouble in the first place. but if he could go back he would change just a few little things. But he had already forgiven everyone that was involved.

The only person left to forgive...was him. Could they all forgive him? Could he forgive himself? did he even deserve it? He would leave that up to them. But first things first. Sephiroth needed to stop getting snot all over his shit. the crying was getting very annoying.

"Sephiroth, I forgive you. But Your not the one who needs to be forgiven. its me. If you can forgive me then everything is fine." Sephiroth looked at him in shock, and Cloud realized that Sephiroth looked beautiful when he cried. His eyes brighter and his lips were slightly swollen. Cloud stood and wrapped his arms around the generals shoulders and said he was sorry in his ear a few times. Sephiroth buried his head into Cloud's shoulder. His heart sang with joy and wrapped his arms around Clouds waist and silently let the rest of his tears fall.

"Cloud I dont need to forgive someone who was never not forgiven. Thank you Cloud."

They looked into eachothers eyes and knew that if this was true, everything would be ok and back to normal very soon. Cloud smiled softly and gave a quick friendly peck on Sephiroths lips and sat back down in front of his work in progress. Sephiroth smiled like he was the happiest person in the world and watched Cloud continue painting. Then he noticed Cloud hair, and his scars, and his...tattoo...and what the fuck did this kid do to himself?

"Um Cloud if you dont mind my asking but you are completely different from when I last saw you...why?"

Cloud looked up at him and gave an awkward grin. "I um...decided to just change.I kinda needed to.I have to get my Tattoo touched up later though. there are...missing pieces to my hair...well i always wanted to see myself with black hair so I tried it out a few months ago and it really stuck so i decided to keep it. I really like it." Cloud smiled slightly as he painted a neon blue and neon green lake into the background. Sephiroth wiped the remaining tears from his cheeks and eyes as, he caught that Cloud was avoiding the scar thing.

"And the scars?" Cloud glanced at him. his eyes were hesitant.

"I went through some really bad times during the first few months here. And I just didnt stop. But i just got tired of it and ...well stopped" Even though that was a very vague explanation Sephiroth didnt pry. Cloud would keep his secrets if he wanted to. Then he realized, he was late, he really needed to get back to the reactor.

"Cloud I have to go but I will come visit again" he said as he rushed to the door.

Cloud yelled after him "Have a wonderful day at work honey! Take a scarf, it looks a little chilly today." Cloud giggled, knowing Sephiroth absolutely hated the cold. Sephiroth flipped him off over his shoulder in retaliation. Cloud just chuckled and continued painting. This day was becoming quite good. now where the fuck was Genesis?

I know its kinda short but thats what i pulled out of my ass in an hour.

thank you for still sticking with this story.


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